Life Blogs With Noor

The truth is, I’m scared.

 

This year was easily the most transformative one I’ve experienced in my lifetime. I’ve discovered and defined parts of myself that I never knew about before. 

 

I’ve never been more secure about who I am. 

 

But I’ve also never been more confused. 

 

Quite frankly, this shift in my being brought with it a reality that is scary to face: I’m changing. I’m changing in ways that will permanently shape me into the person I’ll be in the future. I’m changing exponentially and drastically and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

 

Everything is going to be different soon. 

 

Very soon. 

 

I’m going to be moving away from my home for the first time in my life. To a place that I’ve never been to, to be with people I have never met. But it’s going to be an adventure of a lifetime. And I know that this will be a new stage of my life where I will grow into a person I can’t even fathom right now. 

 

I’m excited, and terrified. 

 

And even though this has been one of the most honest and authentic years of my life, it has also been the hardest to keep up with — especially online. 

 

So, I hope you guys can forgive me. 

 

Forgive me for making promises that I didn’t keep; for being too nervous to be honest with you. Things are going to change for me soon. And I’d love to bring you guys along that journey. But, that’s not always as easy as it may seem. 

 

The truth is, I never thought any of this would happen to me. And most of the time, I’m so good at blocking things out that my brain doesn’t even process that it has. 

 

But I’m done living like that. 

 

From now on I’m going to be even more honest. 

 

I can’t promise to always be consistent when uploading on here. I mean hell, my first year of college starts in less than a month — I bound to struggle for a bit. But I promise to start creating things that I am proud of. That I hope you guys will be able to enjoy as well. 

 

Thank you to all the people in my life who have been there for me this year (and all of the years before it). I owe you everything. And I’ll miss you all so, so, so much. 

 

So anyways. I’m back. 

 

And I can’t wait to see where I’ll go. 

 

watch the video i made about this essay: here